WORK IN PROGRESS

BARUCH LEV

"Of sound mind and intact body, a decorated survivor of three wars, I did not refuse when recruited to fight another war. The 'Long War'. The one without end. After all, as Maimonides said: "If not now- then when? If not me - then who? Questions to live by. And die for. But let's not argue Talmudic wisdom. I have more important matters to discuss. Like years living a vagrant existence in barren hotel rooms in foreign cities exiled from the desert I loved, pursuing War Criminals found in raucous Beer Halls bellowing Wehrmacht marching songs, pounding Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil! on trembling table tops.

I thought about the desert, an endless ocean of sand under a blue cloudless sky enclosed by shimmering heat-haze horizons. At night, an infinite dome of stars transited our indifferent Universe. My spiritual home, the eternal desert. Free of the stink and horror of cities where the desperate fight for a place to live. The desert contained no distractions, no refuge hiding me from myself. The desert magnified everything. An arena worthy of a man's soul where Truth could not be evaded. Where agonies clarified. Exposed to the burning winds, bone-chilling nights, I found my vision of God. In the desert I felt safe, Absorbed in the stars. The magnetic streams and oceans of the sky were my companions in the Watchtower of my fortress home and farm. I studied the night sky; the unchanging Universe held my attention until at the first explosive whine of a sniper's bullet I hid behind a protective shield of steel, a field telephone ringing, anxious voices bringing me back to the barren speck of sand I was willing to die for. All's well ! All's Well ! I shouted. Then gratefully, I returned to my Talmud, my Torah, my Testament. The stars. Always the stars."